I was in 8th grade, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I don't remember how I felt and I didn't know how to react. Did I even know what cancer was back then? I don't think so... All I can remember my mom had clots of her period and it was so heavy. I remember how it fell down the floor and I needed to clean it. When she went to the doctor, that's when she found out she had uterine sarcoma. When my brothers and I found out, we cried a lot and we were sad. I went to some of her chemo appointments, and I remember sleeping at one of her appointments in the waiting room. She had good doctors. I don't remember if my grades got affected but all I can remember I visited her in the hospital. I remember not going to Lowell's high school open night visit. My mom was so strong. She lost her hair, she wore a wig. She beat it once in her first diagnosed and she was in remission for 5 years. I don't remember how I handled it when my mom had cancer. I remember though we had the Virgin Mary here in the house and we did the novena together. Maybe my mom shared a lot of her thoughts and feelings to my older brother or to my aunts because she didn't show us how she was really feeling and she was fighting it and she handled it so well. It's so weird how I don't remember. Isn't bad of me to not even remember this? I wish I did a better job in taking care of her. I wish I had a better relationship with her. Looking back now, I could have shown her my love so much more. I feel like I was a bad daughter because I talked back and I was selfish. Was I already selfish when I was in 8th grade? The clash of point of views, the generation gap, and the culture were the things that were difficult for us to agree on. But now growing up, I see where my mom was coming from and how being a single parent was so tough. She was so protective because she wanted what was best for me and my brothers. I thanked for everything that my mom have done for me and I wouldn't be the person I am today without her.
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